Friday, January 13, 2012

The snow came today.  
will i ever not think about you when it falls?
how i want to cherish it, you, our memories ~
like snow 
soft, fun, pure, causing joy
i miss you
i've moved on
but you're never gone
you're not present but you are here..
in many ways
it's so true how we take others for granted
i'm sure i did with you although i promise it was never intended
push me away
push me away from memories
you see i can't tell any story that doesn't involve you
i imagine a life before you,  without us, then i'm left back at empty
everything i had
everything i have
is because we chose us
because i loved you
because you loved me
together we fell
just like the snow
creating a blanket 
on nights
like tonight
silently we fell in love
silently we led our lives
silently you slipped away
i'm so so sorry you were alone
push me away
push me into my now reality
reality without you

sweetheart...i hold on to thoughts of you.  i have so much guilt about you being alone.  you gave me so much.  you left me our world without one thing...the u in us. i miss you.  i will always love you.  i am really as happy as i can be right now and i realize i'm the one person responsible for my own happiness.  i know you are in heaven.  i know we'll be reunited.  these things i know but i have my moments...still...where my world stops and i do nothing but miss you and now is one of those.'s at these moments i jot down what my mind is spinning around in it and i pray to my heavenly father to hold me just a little bit tighter in his  arms.  i miss your arms around me and your feet being so warm.  you would hate my tears.  i miss how you would catch them with your giant fingers and place them on your cheeks so you could "feel my hurt"... breathe bri.....breathe.........................all of this over a little snow.  silly~silly girl i know.
so now i lay me down to sleep
i pray the lord my soul to keep
if i should die before i wake
please never allow others to endure this ache 
i know that's silly and an impossible request and by mornings light this'll be off my chest
goodnight jesus, goodnight god, goodnight children, goodnight love, goodnight mother, goodnight dad, 
goodnight my sisters i'm so glad i have.  
tonight is over tomorrows a fresh start
i love you all
with all my heart 

No comments:

Google malware manager