Sunday, July 15, 2012

Conversation with my son

It's Saturday, no, It's Sunday 12:50am and I'm so wide awake!  urgggg   

Mr. Bret decided to stay at a friends house tonight.  Odd.  I've only known him to stay at 3 friends homes during/since high-school.  Jeff, J.T. and Bobby's.  He's always here and Miss Tink, his girlfriend comes over during the week occasionally so him telling me he was staying at Brandon's was just odd.   

It was funny last night we were chatting and somehow the subject of me dating came up.  Out of the blue he said, "Mother, I never said you couldn't have a boyfriend."    Where did that come from?  It reminded me of the most recent card he gave me.   I will share it at the end of this post.   He was quite creative in choosing this card as it had a sewing machine on it.  My most recent projects have been with my new sewing machine.   On the inside was written, "Mother, You don't need need a man in your life when you have a son as awesome as me!"    I think I'm just now beginning to see that my little boy is taking care of me in his own way!  Sometimes I think he feels obligated to keep living with me.   I hope that is not the case.  We have a great relationship.  It has had a few growing pains.  He went into the Marine Corp a fairly organized man and came home a slob!  It drives me nuts!!  Bret's response is always, "Mother, close the door and I'll clean it up."  By the end of the week I bravely open his door and proceed to strip the bed, color pile the clothes and vacuum.  Two hours later I feel so accomplished.  Bret always thanks me and scolds me.  Most recently he told me I needed a life if I had time to organize  his closet.  Which brings me back to the whole, "Dating comment."   

Me?  date?  again?  urggg.  I would rather skin chickens than go dating and I never skin chickens!  There are some things in life I pay more for a organic, skinned chicken is one!!!  eck....

On the positive side,  I absolutely do believe that God is going to send the right man to me.  Period.  Just like that.  No work on my end.  It's just going to happen.  I'm going to be in church and he's going to hear my angelic voice singing and know I'm the one!  BAHAHAHAHAHA    

No my next husband is actually going to run into me in the grocery store.  Remember that great holiday song, "Met my old lover in the grocery store...the snow was falling Christmas Eve..."   well in my world the song ends with him never letting me go!  ---okay, maybe not.

With my luck I'll be the girl on the side of the road, broken down truck, hood raised, black engine markings all over my arms, sweating like a pig, hair under a ball-cap and in clothes that I'd never been seen.  He'll  pull up in a beautiful new Ford Explorer and rescue me!  :))  Now we're talking!!!   LOL  

This is one area of my life that I have absolutely NO desire to pursue.   Zilch.  Nada.  None.  I would love, love, love to be in love.  To share my life with my soul-mate.   Have my own "arm candy" to escort me to family get-togethers.   I have the energy physically.   It's just.... emotionally....  I just don't emotionally have the drive, the gusto, the oomph, the pep or the zing to do it!  
Is this DENIAL?  

since I've opened this subject...i'm gonna close my writing, 
turn off the lights
turn on my Nora Jones cd

sweet dreams

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