Thursday, April 7, 2011


Websters definition of pain:


 noun \ˈpān\

Definition of PAIN

a : usu. localized physical suffering associated with bodily disorder (as a disease or an injury); also : a basic bodily sensation induced by a noxious stimulus, received by naked nerve endings, characterized by physical discomfort (as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leading to evasive action


My definition of pain:  
1: It's 6:15am and the alarm rings.  (I've been awake since 3:35)  I place both feet on  the floor.  My left heel suddenly screams to my brain, "NO NO NO."  There is a sensation, a sudden rush of heat running from my heel up my calf, to the backside of my knee until it suddenly crashes into my spine.   It's like an alarm going off...PAIN, PAIN, PAIN.  It's not even 6:16!!  I take a deep breath, hold back the tears that rush to my fill my eyes and begin my short walk into the kitchen.   My goal is to make my son a good breakfast and lunch as he gets ready for work.  
As I stand in the kitchen, I find myself on my tiptoe or worse, I pull my leg behind me and try to prop it up to "overthink" this pain.  Nothing is working.  It's not going to be a good day is all I can think.  No walking at the park today.  Back to the couch with it propped up after Bret leaves for work.  UGHHHHHH.......  How can I make a difference sitting on a couch?  I have so much to do in this life.  This "'pain" "pains" my heart as I need to be mobile.  There is that feeling of dread, that depression that keeps trying to sneak it's ugly head back into my world when I start my day like this.  
Pain...I DO NOT have time for you.  I am too young and my bucket list is way too long for you to keep me down.  It's now 7:20 and I'm supplementing my bowl of grits with a percocet.  Joy.  

 I just found this post that I had written days before my implant but never posted.  Thought how ironic it is with how I am feeling now!!  

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