Sunday, May 1, 2011

Celebration of Life for Easter 
     I woke a couple of days before Easter with some thoughts and deep rooted emotions stirring of how Mary must have felt during the duration of her son going through hell here on Earth. To see your son convicted, carrying his cross while shedding his blood and to watch as he was crucified.  How did she endure the pain?  Where did she reach down and pull up enough courage, faith, wisdom and physical strength to make it though this?  
     Now having a personal relationship with Jesus, I know the answer to that.  Yet, it still boggles my mind.  I have never said I have a "Hero" but she may just be that one for me if I had to answer that again.  Jesus of course would be my first answer but Mary...yep, I have to say she is my hero from the mothers perspective.
I've not quite figured out why this has been so deeply embedded in my thoughts other than because it is Easter~~ but God is speaking to me, telling me something, showing me in my mind and I've got to be more conscious to see the answer. Several things enter my "reasoning"  ie, Stephanie being a new mother, Julie about to have baby Zoey, Me having the privilege to keep Jersey each day or is it weighing on me as I see Debbie struggle with trying to grasp what God is doing in Lil' Georges life.  Maybe it's all of these.  I guess I have gotten spoiled in God putting my answers on Billboards and Teeshirts and even tattoos, but, as I've grown deeper in my relationship with him personally, deeper than I have ever realized, I am learning I have to seek harder for the answer sometimes.  Guess it's like going to school.  You are given the work you are expected to have the knowledge to learn and it gets more difficult as you progress. 
 Well, I'm eager to learn our answer!!  
      As for Easter itself.  I had the beautiful opportunity to hear Michael W. Smith perform with the church at World Outreach in Murfreesboro.  They held their service at Murphy Center which is so special to me as my high school graduation. as-well-as all of my children received their HS diplomas there.  The service was full of the most amazing music and I found myself "signing" a few of the words as we sang.  That was an unexpected surprise even to me!!  Michael W. Smith had a song out years ago that became very, very dear to me when our family endured so much loss.  When he started off the music with this the tears began to fall and I wept uncontrollably like a baby.  (Another of Gods signs that I WAS suppose to be there!)  Those going with me changed their minds at the last minute and I went alone and looking back, I'm thrilled~ I enjoyed this alone, or, well, with 3,000+ people but alone nonetheless.  Music is so important to me in serving and hearing what God says to me.   We shared in the Last Supper and as I drank of that cup, again, the images of Marys son~ shedding his blood~ filled my mind~~~ thanking God for my salvation at that moment just didn't seem to be sufficient enough. I am ever so thankful!

Easter morning I had to sneak into Brets bedroom and leave him a little Easter basket.  Silly, I know but he is the only one I have at home and, well, I'm just holding on to him any little way I can.  He's always so appreciative and that makes it that much more fun!  I dressed quickly and my mind raced back to Easter morning as a girl of 5 or 6 and our little dresses and stockings, purses and the rule of "wearing white begins today".  Pink tape that held our bangs at night and bouncy curls for me and Connie.  Daddy pressed Debbies hair.  Funny things we remember.   
      So, I'm off to Larrys.  Julie has to work and her eyes are full of tears as the girls are dressed up and we begin taking pictures.  Mental note to take even more and a video or two so she can join in later.  The girls look precious and beautiful and Larry looks so "fatherly" so grown.  I fight back the tears.  We arrive at SpringHouse with Julies sister, Angie and her husband David.  The "oooohs & awwwws"  at the girls leave me with MEME pride but I have to share this.  My most prized moments were as follows.  

We're standing and singing, clapping, raising hands in praise when I turn to see Riley~hands held high, standing next to her daddy and singing, praising God.  Jaylen on his opposite side singing too.  They are such a musically talented family!!  I look forward to seeing God open the doors for Larrys dream of music, especially in the church!  His family could really be an instrument to many people, including this mom!   

 As the church worshipped with only music on this Easter morning, followed too by the Last Supper, Jaylen began asking questions about becoming a Christian and how she needs to ask God into her heart.  We whispered for 20 minutes.  In the moment with the observation of the Last Supper I realized she had a lot more questions so we talked more following church as she had to leave and go to her moms.  Jaylen lives between two totally different worlds and I pray that I have been and will always be there for her. 

 I anxiously  await the moment when she makes that choice to ask Jesus to come into her heart! All of my grandchildren!! 
The day ended with a nice cookout at my moms with my stepsister & stepbrothers children and old friends as well as an egg hunt for the kiddos.   

     It was a profound 5 days for me.  More profound than I can ever remember any other Easter.  Well,,,as I just typed that I am reminded that Easter Sunday 1998 is when I was rushed to the hospital with a possible stroke, only to learn after a weeks vacation there that I had Multiple Sclerosis.  Look where I am now!!  WOW
Heavenly Father, Lord, Savior and Guide of my soul open my eyes and my heart to hear, see, learn and speak what it is that you so want me to share.  Direct me to find the words, the ways to volunteer, the ways to share here on the great world wide web of your love.  You are working in me...May I work for you and you alone.  
P.S.  Give your mother Mary a huge, huge hug from me!  

No comments:

Google malware manager